I'm not just fat....

So I am getting my head around being pregnant a lot more now. I saw a midwife this week who let me listen to the heartbeat and although it mostly sounde like noise when tning a TV or Radio, eventually heard it and felt really happy. She told me I am normal which was great!!! I will hopefully feel the baby move in the next few weks, what a strange experience that will be, I know that it is real and there is a baby inside me, I am not just getting randomly fat, but I think feeling it as well as seeing on the screen and hearing it will make it better, more exciting and more real - and only slightly freaky and alien like!!!!

I have another scan in a few weeks and I kind of want to find out the sex, then I can say he/she instead of it. I don't know, I just think it will be nice to know and get used to baby boy or girl and focus a bit more BUT everyone, well almost everyone has said that I shouldn't find out the sex, I should wait and have a surprise... not sure, I think that we each have to make our choices. The only thing is that Stu isn't too keen on fining out, so maybe I will wait.. but I am so impatient! I don't mind if it is a boy or a girl, though me and Stu both have a feeling it is a girl - not sure why - but knowing would be great in my mind. I'll tell you what happens!

I am trying to find job but it is so hard, even if I wasn't pregnant it would be hard, there is a LOT of competition for every job out there and the good ones are all for 2 or 3 year contracts which would be perfect if I wasn't expecting...
I have been looking at temp work but even then I have heard nothing back from the 20+ jobs I have sent my CV to. Well, I am trying and that is all I can do, I am really doing well not getting too stressed about it (well had a few tears over it but that is to be expected!!!) as really ther is nothing I can do but keep applying. If I was an employer and 27 people applied for one job I wouldn't choose the pregnant one either so I have to be realistic and just go with the flow. I was trying hard not to worry about the future too much and I have to continue. Now there is more at stake, I NEED money for this baby but it is not as if I am destitute! Yet! So if anyone out there has any great work for me to do then let me know! All I ask is permission to go to the toilet - frequently!!!