I am feeling in a happy mood, loving everything, the sun is shinng and Stuart is coming to stay next week... I feel happy and as I was lying in bed last night I was thinking of things we take for granted that make us happy, I had planned to go feed the ducks with Mam and Tara today and those sort of things are just so simple and enjoyable and make us happy.
So, some things that make me happy (please note this list is not exhaustive and is subject to change at any time):
laughter - I like to laugh of course, we all do, there is some medical reason that when weare already happy and smiling and laughing it releases a chemical or something to make us happier, but I just do love laughing, and just as much, if not more I love the laughter of other people, in particular children. Oh babies gurgles and toddlers chuckles just make me so happy! And laughing so much you cry, that is the best... did that this morning actually as I was being chased by a butterfy!
bed - love my bed, I love being all snug and warm, I love being lazy! I love the various things that you can get up to in bed(with another person preferably!) I love being comfortable and feeling relaxed. Yes, bed is a great place and getting into your own bed after a holiay or something is just such a nice feeling, I love it!
food -mmmm,crisps, bread, cheese, cake, trifle.... the list could go on and on! OK we all love food, nothing weird or wonderful or exciting about that but I just have to put it on the list. I am not a person who eats to be happy, or to be comforted really but there is something about good food that just makes us happy. Also, love, love, love food programmes like Come in with Me, Masterchef and the Hairy Bikers... not as much as my stepdad who watches millions of food prgrammes (Nigella a fave, I wonder why!) but food leads to these funny programmes and especially now I am not working these programmes are a welcome distraction!
people - obviously I love my family and friends! But I love the crazy randomness of folk! I love to meet new people, talk to people from different places and culures and I love to people watch! A great hobby, I trained hard in the art of people watching in Greece and Italy and now feel at home watching people wherever I go! I love to look at what people wear, what they do and how they react to things! yes, nothing more entertaining than watching people (also why I love Come Dine with Me, jut as much about people as food if not more so!)
being pregnant (most of the time) - being pregnant so far is a pretty enjoable experience, somehing so new and different and each week something new is happening. I am finding out so much, about my body and my baby and it is fascinating.I am also just so excited about the end product of these nine months that even the bad parts, like heartburn, are fine because I know I am going to be a mammy in a few months and that just makes me happy and I love the thought of having a baby, someone to love and take care of. I also love the idea of being part of a family in a new way, as mammy with daddy Stu, we are maing plans and while some of it is stressful we are enjoying our journey. Stu will be such a wonderful dad and that too makes me SO happy, I can't wait to see it all happening. My mam will be a great grandma ( I mean a very good one)and I love thinking how lucky my baby is!
Well, there are lots more things that make me happy, writing this blog included but now I have to go.... love you xxx
Thursday, 26 August 2010
Friday, 13 August 2010
I'm not just fat....
So I am getting my head around being pregnant a lot more now. I saw a midwife this week who let me listen to the heartbeat and although it mostly sounde like noise when tning a TV or Radio, eventually heard it and felt really happy. She told me I am normal which was great!!! I will hopefully feel the baby move in the next few weks, what a strange experience that will be, I know that it is real and there is a baby inside me, I am not just getting randomly fat, but I think feeling it as well as seeing on the screen and hearing it will make it better, more exciting and more real - and only slightly freaky and alien like!!!!
I have another scan in a few weeks and I kind of want to find out the sex, then I can say he/she instead of it. I don't know, I just think it will be nice to know and get used to baby boy or girl and focus a bit more BUT everyone, well almost everyone has said that I shouldn't find out the sex, I should wait and have a surprise... not sure, I think that we each have to make our choices. The only thing is that Stu isn't too keen on fining out, so maybe I will wait.. but I am so impatient! I don't mind if it is a boy or a girl, though me and Stu both have a feeling it is a girl - not sure why - but knowing would be great in my mind. I'll tell you what happens!
I am trying to find job but it is so hard, even if I wasn't pregnant it would be hard, there is a LOT of competition for every job out there and the good ones are all for 2 or 3 year contracts which would be perfect if I wasn't expecting...
I have been looking at temp work but even then I have heard nothing back from the 20+ jobs I have sent my CV to. Well, I am trying and that is all I can do, I am really doing well not getting too stressed about it (well had a few tears over it but that is to be expected!!!) as really ther is nothing I can do but keep applying. If I was an employer and 27 people applied for one job I wouldn't choose the pregnant one either so I have to be realistic and just go with the flow. I was trying hard not to worry about the future too much and I have to continue. Now there is more at stake, I NEED money for this baby but it is not as if I am destitute! Yet! So if anyone out there has any great work for me to do then let me know! All I ask is permission to go to the toilet - frequently!!!
I have another scan in a few weeks and I kind of want to find out the sex, then I can say he/she instead of it. I don't know, I just think it will be nice to know and get used to baby boy or girl and focus a bit more BUT everyone, well almost everyone has said that I shouldn't find out the sex, I should wait and have a surprise... not sure, I think that we each have to make our choices. The only thing is that Stu isn't too keen on fining out, so maybe I will wait.. but I am so impatient! I don't mind if it is a boy or a girl, though me and Stu both have a feeling it is a girl - not sure why - but knowing would be great in my mind. I'll tell you what happens!
I am trying to find job but it is so hard, even if I wasn't pregnant it would be hard, there is a LOT of competition for every job out there and the good ones are all for 2 or 3 year contracts which would be perfect if I wasn't expecting...
I have been looking at temp work but even then I have heard nothing back from the 20+ jobs I have sent my CV to. Well, I am trying and that is all I can do, I am really doing well not getting too stressed about it (well had a few tears over it but that is to be expected!!!) as really ther is nothing I can do but keep applying. If I was an employer and 27 people applied for one job I wouldn't choose the pregnant one either so I have to be realistic and just go with the flow. I was trying hard not to worry about the future too much and I have to continue. Now there is more at stake, I NEED money for this baby but it is not as if I am destitute! Yet! So if anyone out there has any great work for me to do then let me know! All I ask is permission to go to the toilet - frequently!!!
Monday, 2 August 2010
I am having baby!!!!!!!
Well, I have not written for a while, mainly because I have known for about 2 months that I am pregnant (due Jauary 2011) and that is all I wanted to write about but I felt it was too soon to talk about it, and maybe listening to old wives tales you shouldn't tell until after 3 months, so, now I am 15 weeks pregnant and have had a scan which showed that everthing is OK with baby I feel I can talk abut it. Also I have been back in England and busy doing lots of things including looking for a job, catching up with family and friends and Stu came to visit then I went to visit his family in Margate too.
This news has had a huge effect on me, as you might guess, I have been worried, scared and excited but mainly I have felt happy. I know it is a huge, HUGE, lifechanging thing and I know it will be difficult at times (over the next 18 or more years!!!) but it is the most amazing thing I have ever experienced and the greatest feeling, knowing I will be a mammy! I am not sure about many things but I have always wanted chilren and this is a crazy and emotional time which I really want to enjoy as much as possible. The scan made it all so real, me and Stu were sat there looking at our baby, it was jumping around and looked so perfect, I was laughing so much as I just couldn't believe it, that the little person on the screen was inside of me, it is a strange feeling, I cant wait to feel it move so it is even more real.
I started this blog to remind myelf that I have happy things in my life, at a time when I was overwhelmed by sad thoughts and bad experiences and felt a bit lost and very alone. I realised pretty soon that I am NOT alone, I have an amazing family who are so good to me and so supportive of all I do. And I have great friends who I can talk to about everything and make me laugh so much. I feel now even more lucky for having these people in my life so they can now share in my new happiness and also help me out!!!! Now maybe my blog should change as I am not at risk of needing to forget anything, in fact now I want to remember eerything in more detail,record my new journey, we will see, maybe nobody will want to read the blog of nappies and crying! (though my emotions are supposed to be all over the place I haven't cried too much more than usual.... more than most people still though!!!)
Last week I met Stuart's family and they are really nice too, extra lucky there as could have been a bit weird, the first time they meet their sons new girlfriend she is already 3 and a bit months preggers! But I should have known that Stu was such a nice an genuine person because of his family. Stu has been great, maybe more worried abut some things than me (like money) and less interested in some thngs (like baby shoes) and a bit cringy when I talk about tearing and stitches..... hahaha!
He met my family too and it all went really well, he even managed to understand Geordie a few times, he will learn soon enough!
Yes, another blog where as I write I realise that while I am no millionaire, some things are much more important like people you love and who love you and in that I am rich!
This news has had a huge effect on me, as you might guess, I have been worried, scared and excited but mainly I have felt happy. I know it is a huge, HUGE, lifechanging thing and I know it will be difficult at times (over the next 18 or more years!!!) but it is the most amazing thing I have ever experienced and the greatest feeling, knowing I will be a mammy! I am not sure about many things but I have always wanted chilren and this is a crazy and emotional time which I really want to enjoy as much as possible. The scan made it all so real, me and Stu were sat there looking at our baby, it was jumping around and looked so perfect, I was laughing so much as I just couldn't believe it, that the little person on the screen was inside of me, it is a strange feeling, I cant wait to feel it move so it is even more real.
I started this blog to remind myelf that I have happy things in my life, at a time when I was overwhelmed by sad thoughts and bad experiences and felt a bit lost and very alone. I realised pretty soon that I am NOT alone, I have an amazing family who are so good to me and so supportive of all I do. And I have great friends who I can talk to about everything and make me laugh so much. I feel now even more lucky for having these people in my life so they can now share in my new happiness and also help me out!!!! Now maybe my blog should change as I am not at risk of needing to forget anything, in fact now I want to remember eerything in more detail,record my new journey, we will see, maybe nobody will want to read the blog of nappies and crying! (though my emotions are supposed to be all over the place I haven't cried too much more than usual.... more than most people still though!!!)
Last week I met Stuart's family and they are really nice too, extra lucky there as could have been a bit weird, the first time they meet their sons new girlfriend she is already 3 and a bit months preggers! But I should have known that Stu was such a nice an genuine person because of his family. Stu has been great, maybe more worried abut some things than me (like money) and less interested in some thngs (like baby shoes) and a bit cringy when I talk about tearing and stitches..... hahaha!
He met my family too and it all went really well, he even managed to understand Geordie a few times, he will learn soon enough!
Yes, another blog where as I write I realise that while I am no millionaire, some things are much more important like people you love and who love you and in that I am rich!
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